The 3 Paradoxes of Great Sex
by Michael Webb
These 3 mistakes all come from the “land of good intentions”, but
still, they wreak merciless havoc on the lives of countless men.
I’m referring to the following:
1. The Paradox of Trying Too Hard
2. The Paradox of Thinking Too Much
3. The Paradox of the Simple Moves
1. THE PARADOX OF TRYING TOO HARD
Great sex will always be about FLOW.
One doesn’t need to press for it, trying too hard on any area will cause
you to mess it up – that’s a guarantee. The tragedy is that most
men don’t even see this one coming and end up working against themselves
– the harder they try, the harder it becomes.
One of the temptations of having too many tricks in the bag is to unleash them
in a grand overflow and put on a show. Needless to say, you’ll reek of
the ‘trying too hard’ vibe. Instead of dazzling Eve, you’ll
turn her off – for the vibe masks a specific fear – the fear of
inadequacy, that nagging feeling of not being good enough.
You’re afraid she won’t have a great time unless you pleasure the
brains out of her, so you feel compelled to unleash every physical technique
to compensate for a personal issue.
Like I said, this will backfire.
You don’t need to do everything – don’t be an overeager yes-man.
The rookie mistake here is trying too hard to please every woman, every time,
with the hopes of being the best she’s ever had. You’ll end up pleasing
nobody. Instead, learn to lean back and let sexual excellence come to you.
2. THE PARADOX OF THINKING TOO MUCH
Great sex is always UNCONSCIOUS; it’s not logical or rational.
The bedroom is not the place to think, and the absolute worst time to contemplate
your insecurities, sexual hang-ups and skills. Deal with them BEFORE your next
carnal encounter and AFTER your last one... NEVER DURING.
Calibrate... but don’t thresh-out psychological issues in the heat of
things. Self consciousness and self-talk pull you out of the moment and into
a negative spiral where you become sexually ineffective and out of touch.
Don’t be overly concerned with the mechanics and metrics of intercourse
– like the exact pressure or angle of your hand, or the direction of your
thrusts. When it comes to the real thing -- stop thinking -- focus on your partner
and immerse in the moment.
Don’t plan every move as if sex is a series of perfectly executed maneuvers.
When you over-think things, you’ll mess up. The best crane operators don’t
analyze every step... they just do it, the moves have become 2nd to nature.
If you think too much, I assure you that the sex will get worse – instead
of enjoying, you’ll be too busy figuring out the next best move. Just
enjoy the process, take it easy and don’t be too hard on yourself.
It goes without saying that one doesn’t have to gun for sexual perfection...
there’s no such thing. Afford yourself some mistakes and don’t make
a big deal out of it. This is very, very important.
3. THE PARADOX OF THE SIMPLE MOVES
Great sex will always about the SIMPLE MOVES.
It is the aggregate of simple things, done in the right way and at the right
time, that makes the world of difference. You have to drive that one in your
head. THERE ARE NO BIG TRICKS.
This is not about big moves or magic techniques – it’s about the
snowballing of easy to do maneuvers. The biggest lesson here is understanding
that it’s the small things that truly matter. It’s not about making
extensive changes to your game, but simply tweaking it.
It’s learning to feel not just with your hands, but with your fingertips.
It’s being in-tune not just for her screams, but even to her breathing.
Not just about writhing bodies but little twitches.
Great sex is simple, (‘simple’ doesn’t mean ‘boring’),
it’s not replete with shock-and-awe. The road to sexual greatness is not
some hidden mythic trick, for the most elegant and effective moves have never
been kept secret, they have always been there.
They just have been overlooked... if not forgotten. Being unpretentious, they
easily pass off as insignificant.
So there you have it, The paradox of trying too hard, thinking too much and
simple moves. Remember these three concepts when making love next time and you'll
come across much more confident, sexy and natural.
About the author:
Oprah Love Expert Michael Webb is the
founder of
"The Virtuoso Lover",
covering how to
make men exceptional lovers. Unfortunately most men
have no idea how to make 'out-of-this-world' love,
which leaves women frustrated and disappointed.
Learn to be one of the rare men that can satisfy
women both physically and emotionally by visiting:
The Virtuoso Lover
